I am no Barbara Walters. It is painfully obviously to me now that other than our shared day of earthly entry {September 25th}, we have little in common. Thanks to the wonder that is DVR, I recently watched Bab's "Ten Most Fascinating People" program, even though it aired long before the Tiger mistress count entered double digits. Although I was cynical of some of her picks (Lady Gaga? Is she fascinating or frightening? I believe those are different.) I admire the fact that Madame Walters spends her holiday time compiling a list of people she deems Fascinating. I find myself compiling a year-end litany of those I would like to see evaporate into the ether. I mean them no harm. I would simply prefer to hear / see / think less about:
1. Sarah Palin: Seriously. Enough. While I am objective and (perhaps) kind-hearted enough not to believe what her almost son-in-law claimed in Vanity Fair, I continue to struggle with understanding the phenomenon that is Sarah. Looks great in a pair of running shorts. Check. Proud mother of a special needs baby. Gotcha. Embattled former mayor of Alaska's meth capital. Oops. I hope Santa doesn't leave me the audio version of "Going Rogue" in my stocking, particularly since she did the reading. Feel free to take your daughter's mulleted baby Daddy with you.
2. Bradgelina and/or TomKat: I know, Brad is all about building homes for those whose lives were devastated during Hurricane Katrina and Angelina tries to save impoverished nations by adopting their children, but their 'Ew' factor has risen too high in my book. When was the last time either of you made a decent movie? Perhaps it's time to get back to basics. The 'EW' factor has been high on TomKat from the onset. The Oprah couch-hopping, the Scientology handling, the glazed look in Katie's once clear eyes. Buh-bye already
3. Vampires
4. People who play too many games on Facebook and insist on telling me about it. Farmville? Really?
5. Reality shows where fifty members of the same sex vie for the undying love of a member of the opposite sex AND/OR reality shows where they place a group of people in a shared house, give them too much free alcohol, and yell, "Action". For the love of Ray-J, enough. Thanks to Joel McHale on The Soup, I can spend a mere 22 minutes each Friday night and know that the world is going to hell in a skanky hand basket. MTV started this with "The Real World" about thirty-seven years ago. It was ground-breaking. It was unscripted. It was (somewhat) real. Now the genre has people going so crazy for their 15 Minutes of fame, that they break into the White House wearing a far-too-revealing sari. Enough.
6. Athletes needing to make a public heart-felt apology. Is there any chance 2010 can be the year of personal responsibility for our nation's athletes? It is, after all, an Olympic year. I don't want to hear another football player apologizing for his unfortunate decision to carry a loaded weapon while driving 75 in a 25 mile-per-hour school zone. No more 'roids. No more sexting. No more toking on a five-foot bong while the girl sitting next to you has her cell phone pointed out. No more.
7. War
8. Dick Cheney: You don't get to spend eight years in an undisclosed fortified bunker, orchestrating an unnecessary, immoral and tragic war on two fronts, and evading congressional inquiries only to emerge at the end of your term looking like Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life and blaming your mistakes on the current administration. Go away, Crypt Keeper. You have finally, blessedly, become irrelevant.
There. That's only eight. Perhaps I'm not as cynical as I feared. Or perhaps I am merely an American woman searching for higher ground. I like television; why must so many of the offerings pander to the lowest common denominator? I love sports; why does half of every Sports Center seem more like America's Most Wanted? I used to watch the news, but I don't care about the latest in the Balloon Boy / Governor of South Carolina / Tiger Woods / Fill in your Favorite Saga Here saga. I fear we have become a nation of cats watching whatever shiny object the 24-hour cable news stations dangle in front of us. But this holiday season I will try to shed my cynicism. I will watch holiday specials, and read the kids Christmas stories, and build gingerbread houses. And I will hope for better for all of us in 2010.
8 comments:
I could have written this except i dont write that well. Preach it Sister!
You go girl:) Honestly, I don't think much about humanity has really changed except that:
These days it's not as easy to keep your privates private, more people can find 15 minutes, crazy politicians can reach their fringe easier and "Money" is becoming more desperate.
You are on a roll.
If it's OK with my wife and your husband... can we get married? I like smart girls who are also hilarious. If I knew Babs well enough I'd recommend she put you on next
year's list. And you're right about Yank Cheney. He's nothing but "a warped, frustrated old man."
Happy Holidaze!
A well written holiday rant helps clear the spirit for the new year. Adam Lambert?
Amen ! You said a mouthful. There's a few that I could add to round out your list.... the Gosselins, Brittany Spears, Lindsay Lohan and the Kardashians
Billy Mays. The poor man met an untimely demise, yet he still yells at me to buy stuff in the middle of the night. Can't we both have a little peace?
Amen, amen I say to thee. What passes for news these days seems more like a nasty melange of ET and America's Most Wanted. There's a reason I listen to NPR and avoid the networks (and everybody else for news). One bright spot for me: The Daily Show, though it's kind of sad that the most insightful reporting and commentary on the news is on a comedy show.
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